Monday, April 17, 2006

Now that I have come to the end of the road!

Well this is the eve of my last chemo session and as I sit here looking out of the window, I find myself challenged by my chemo knowledge and the effects it is likely to have on me both mentally and physically over the next few days but that seems like the wrong way to spend a bright and sunny afternoon.

So instead I have decided to look back at an email I sent a few days ago. I actually asked for help, yep it’s only taken 11 months and seven chemo sessions to realise that I don’t need to do this alone. (Okay so I am a slow learner) and further more I was specific about what I needed, I have it on good authority that chocolate really is good for you when you have problems with your taste buds. (Who is going to say that my authority is not good?) But what’s even better is that people have just been waiting to help me and now have lots of what I asked for.

But it got me thinking, how many times have we gone it alone, tried to be superman or woman only to be left exhausted and unsatisfied? (Don’t desert me now cos I know that I am not alone) I suspect plenty but now is the time to STOP.

I have had a startling revelation ‘independence’ really is not a good thing to strive for. Just by its definition it means alone and do we really want to be alone? No of course not. The reality is that we are interdependent like the links in a chain, we are whole in ourselves but need other links to make the chain complete. Do you understand what I mean? Even if you don’t, the one thing to remember is reach out and ask for help when you need it as there really are people who want to help you.

I won’t ask you for chocolate but please just spare me and what I am going through a thought.