Monday, August 07, 2006

Invisible London

It’s official!

I have now joined the ranks of London’s invisible. Yes I have been registered disabled which in the first instance can be seen as quite exciting after all I can now park in a wide variety of places, I have a free bus and train pass, I get free car tax and can travel freely through the congestion charge zone all very exciting indeed. Well it would be if I had the energy or the desire to travel around London; or if London was in the least bit welcoming and I am sure that London is representative of other large cities around the world.

Have you tried traveling on public transport with crutches? By and large people ignore you, no correction try to ignore you. they don’t make eye contact with you which I am now convinced is because they are frightened you might ask them something or whatever you have is contagious. And those that do talk to you are extremely friendly so friendly that they want to know why it is you are on crutches and use it as an opportunity to share with you all they see being wrong with their world.

But as well as all of that there is something about the label ‘disabled’ that stirs up all kinds of emotions in me, it reminds me of all the things I cannot do, I feel less than, not quite right, I don’t fit in. And so now instead of just dealing with mr lupus and all the stuff he brings to the table, I’m having to deal with these emotions too. More emotions than a girl should have to deal with.

So here I sit amongst the invisible many wondering what and where to next. I guess I’ll just wait for the next bus or train to come along and get on it just for the ride!

Thought for the day

Have crutches will travel. Learn to explore the world in spite of your circumstances. You are more than the sum of what is happening in your life.


Anonymous said...

I just registered as disabled as well! 27 and disabled. The only perk is the parking pass :) Lupus stinks! But you are absolutely right when you say that a postive outlook is the only way to go, hair falling out? Get a new haircut!


lavender said...

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Best wishes & a prayer!

butterfly girl said...

Hey! I've been reading your blogs and I love them! You speak the truth sister. I have just begun to contemplate applying for a handicap license plate in the states. I have similar mixed emotions. 1. Sometimes it really is very difficult if not impossible to walk several blocks to get to my destination and it's incredibly irritating to see those handicapped spaces and not be able to use them. 2. Being labeled as "handicapped" first, seems somewhat fraudulent as I really don't think of myself in that regard, but is also so horribly stigmatized and such a huge blanket statement.

Anyway, love your blog. Can't wait to read more.

Anonymous said...

It is reserve, neither it is more, nor it is less