Have you lost weight recently?

I was really excited the night I went to sleep and woke up a size thinner okay maybe it wasn’t quite an overnight thing but it sure felt that way. One day the clothes I was wearing as a result of the steroids clung snugly to my hips the next day they didn’t and I found I could step in and out of jeans without having to unzip them. How cool is that!!

Although there were still some ‘tummy’ issues I was excited as I could actually parade around, hold my stomach in and pretend I had a six pack and it became believable and people started to comment on my new look. I was even able to take things out of the jumble bag because they now fit me and then all of that turned sour by the uttering of one simple question:

“Have you lost weight recently?”

Now don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the question, in fact I would happily answer “yes” to anyone who asked. The problem here was the source of the question; the way in which the question was uttered; the fact that it had been asked several times and always in response to pain and swollen lymph nodes which incidentally were not responding to the cocktail of drugs being administered and lastly the fact that as soon as I proudly said “yes” the questioner immediately bowed their head and started writing.

How could the joy of dropping a dress size suddenly become a sinister occurrence?

I had had an uneventful lupus few days was this one of his tricks to lull me into a false sense of security and then pounce or was it something more sinister and he had teamed up with one of his friends to whack me from behind and trip me up all designed to keep me under his thumb?

It definitely threw a spanner in the works but on Friday 13th (it’s okay I’m not superstitious) all would be revealed they were going to operate!