Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Road to Wellness!

Today I didn’t quite get into the relaxation thing but I did get out and about in the glorious sunshine okay I know that was because I had to go to the hospital but I did get taken out for lunch. I’d love to tell you that it was a gorgeous hunk whose 6ft athletic frame was sitting opposite me looking lovingly into my eyes but it wasn’t it was just my dad (but hooray for dads, they love you any way) and the good thing is I am no longer wired, well that’s not strictly true as Prednisolne is still up to its tricks but I am no longer a slave to the wires of the heart trace gadget. The funny thing is I spent 24hrs with this thing monitoring my every heart beat and then at the hospital they take it away and simply say goodbye. I guess it just doesn’t occur to them that you might be just a little bit curious about the results.

As I didn’t really relax today I’ll guess I’ll just have to do the rest thing, which is quite timely because quite frankly I’m tired.

I did have some pearls of wisdom today, I realized that anywhere between sick and well is on the road to wellness so instead of the doctors definition I’ve decided to ditch the sick label, I know that I spent a long time working on the acronym (S.I.C.K = Starting Important Course of Knowledge and self discovery) and I will use it to redefine what doctors say but as for my definition of myself that’s something completely different.

I must admit to feeling a bit (well a whole lot actually) down today it all just seems so much. I’m not really sure whether I am coming or going and if so from where. I can’t quite put my finger on what mr lupus is up to but whatever it is I don’t like it. I can’t quite work out if I am feeling unwell or if this feeling is more to do with the fact that I can’t quite see a light at the end of the tunnel. But all those thoughts of doom and gloom simply served as a jumpstart for my positive thinking gene which thankfully is always lurking somewhere around.

So in the midst of this darkness I have redefined myself as a voyager on the road to wellness (wasn’t there a movie called on the road to Entebbe?) I love traveling and there’s such an air of mystery, excitement and intrigue about a journey into the unknown and let’s face it living with mr lupus really is about living with the unknown so why not make that work to my advantage.

So here’s my thinking. I am going to pack my suitcase (only the bare essentials of course), get my travel insurance (laughter and positive thinking) and hit the wellness road creating a vision of where I am going and how I want to get there. I’ll start with a vision of how I am going to look (vibrant, spiritual, sensual and of course slim) well isn’t that what creating a vision is all about?

The only way forward is to take action so I guess I had better hit the road, but I probably need to get some rest first.

Thought for the day
Create a dream wall or something similar put pictures, scriptures, drawings sketches of things that remind you of you, who you are going to be when you beat this all and remember that you need to keep moving because even if you are on the right road if you just sit there you will get run over.


Nas said...

I knew you will be writing again after midnight so I have been sitting here waiting to read what you write. As I said in my previous comment you will always be in my prayers, so don’t think you are going through this alone.

I will always be here with you! And if you ever need me you know how to reach me.


nas said...

I am still aiting Carole :) It's 1:40am and am waiting to read your blog.