Monday, July 11, 2005

I'm just visiting!

It’s a Sunday afternoon in July, the sun is blazing outside and here I am laying on a gurney in casualty, not really my idea of fun and definitely no way to top up my tan. I woke up this morning to find mr lupus towering over me. The pains in my right leg from yesterday haven’t subsided, in fact my left leg has now joined in. (Giving a whole new meaning to joined up working), so the only thing I could do was to go and talk to someone that would understand. The trouble is the understanding folks are situated within the confines of a medical institution and these days visiting usually means taking my toothbrush.

I’ve watched a range of different hospital programmes and there is always some handsome doctor or male nurse who makes the experience or at least the scenery more interesting and bearable but if you shared that belief with me I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, I have to tell you that this theory is simply not true. No handsome doctor has come to take my heart beat, although I did see a not too bad looking phlebotomist.

They’ve got me in one of those hospital gowns, you know the one with an open back exposing your bits, not at all a fashion statement although it does co-ordinate with my choice of underwear.

But on the plus side it’s a great time to catch up on my reading. ‘Living your best life’ (isn’t this what we should all be doing) is a book that I have been trying to read for the longest time as I am supposed to write a book review for a course I’ve been taking. And now that I am lying here with the uninspiring blue walls and drab curtain drawn around me, it has my undivided attention.

I came across an interesting statement ‘never stop moving forward’ which made me think about my situation and then about life in general. Sounds like an obvious statement doesn’t it; in life is there really any other way to move? Of course not, so why is it then that many of us are still trying our hardest to move backwards? Think about it, how much of your past is inhabiting your present and therefore setting down roots for your future?

We all do it think about the mistakes, bad relationships etc. that are still haunting you. It’s not them but you that is holding you back. Let go of the heartache and the pain and think of your life as an album of memories. When you create a photo album you only put in it pictures of things you want to remember, happy memories so only take from your past the lessons you have learnt that will help to move you forward.

And the great news about me is that after 7 hours of blood tests, blood pressure readings, scans, x-rays and terrible hospital food they have allowed me to go home as long as I promise to take more drugs and to come back to see them. I realize that when you’re eager to go home you will quite literally promise anything.

Am I living my best life? Not yet but I am on my way.

Thought for the day

You are not a product of your past and are therefore not destined to relive it. You have the power to create a new future.


Anonymous said...

Still waiting for you to wish me a happy birthday before I go to bed!:)

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