Saturday, July 16, 2005

Who turned out the lights?

If you missed me yesterday that’s because I got lost in the darkness. Someone turned out the lights and I couldn’t find my way to put fingers to the key board but I’m here now.

It’s still dark in here, which is strange really because only a day or so ago my world was illuminated and full of bright colours. I loved the feeling it engendered, a warm and tingling sensation that radiated through my body, I was excited and everything really did seem possible (I even went on date, but that’s another story).That feels like such a long time ago, now it’s so completely different. I can feel an icy chill down my spine and everything has been painted black (no don’t get me wrong I like black, it just becomes a problem when that’s all you can see) the world just seems dark, dank and unfriendly.

I know that there is a light switch around here some where but I don’t seem to be able to find it and to be perfectly honest with you I’m not sure I even have the energy right now to look for it. And who turned out the lights? I know I am not alone; I can feel the presence of someone breathing down my neck. I can’t see him (I know he’s male) but I can feel his presence. I know that he’s there I know that it’s mr lupus and that he’s there wielding one of the many weapons in that arsenal of his.

Sometimes I think all he lives for is to reach into his bag of tricks and take out the first thing that comes to hand to damage, distort or maim. I wonder if this is how those wife swap parties work, (Why is it never husband swop?) I mean do you put your keys into a hat and then you take one out which indicates who you are going home with? (Does this really happen or is this me and my imagination or have I just been watching too much television again? Answers on a postcard please)

Darkness is an interesting tool which has been relegated to the basement of our lives. Good is always depicted as bright and cheerful whilst bad or evil is always dark and cheerless. This got me thinking. What is the purpose of darkness? (I believe that everything is here for purpose even if just to teach us something) and more importantly how can it work for me instead of against me as I move along this road to wellness (and I am moving)

I started thinking, is it possible that darkness is not really my enemy? Is there any way darkness could actually become my friend? (I really need it to be friendly to me right now)

Maybe darkness is as bad as we have made it out to be. Okay that’s not exactly how I am feeling at the moment but I’m a believer so work with me on this one. I believe that there is something more to darkness than we have acknowledged and maybe something that we can work with after all think about this:

• It is always darkest before the dawn
• A diamond is encased in darkness before it is revered by the world
• Light would not exist without darkness
• God created the world out of darkness. (Even if you believe that the bible is just a story that is how the author chose to tell it.)
• Darkness cannot exist without light. Without the light how would you know it was dark?

All of this suggests that darkness exists so that something more powerful can come out of it. By this definition darkness acts as a form of incubator, harboring and nurturing the goodness that is waiting to come forth. I think I can get through this darkness as I know the lights will soon be switched on.

Thought for the day
Sometimes what/who you thought was your enemy is often a friend in disguise.


Anonymous said...

Since you are such a light to others in the darkness, I suppose one of it's functions in your own life is to give you an experience of where you are leading them from.
Keep shining..and keep writing!
God Bless

lamp fixtures said...

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I have been doing hours of research on "Lighting" and it brought me to your blog on this post. Anyways, Carole I was reading your blog and I think it is really cool. It’s really a pleasure reading your posts! Keep up the great work.

Keep blogging away :-)

lamps said...

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Some at lighting
It's not exactly what I was looking for but it was nonetheless interesting to read.